Every day, I feel bad about not posting on this blog. If I could get two thoughts together, I would.
Those who follow me on twitter know that I traveled to Romania over Spring break to visit my grandmother, who’s going through a very slow and painful recovery after hip replacement surgery.
Fortunately, this is the first time in my life so far that I’ve had to deal with a loved one’s suffering. I’m not dealing with it very well. It’s consuming my peace of mind, affecting my clarity of thought, and pretty much pushing me towards depression. I’m not proud of not being mentally strong enough to deal with this better… and thus, more guilt and more distress.
So, yes, her ups and downs have been affecting my life & my work. When she has a good day, I’m full of energy and ready to take on the world. Then she has a relapse (like today, when she did not get out of bed even once because of debilitating back pain) and my mind becomes a messy foggy worried knot.
I’m trying to learn about equanimity and offering compassion without letting my mind be deeply troubled – a Buddhist concept that takes years of practice to achieve.
Until I work through these things and figure out a way to bring my mind back to work, and social media, and things that all of a sudden seem dangerously unimportant, I am retreating into silence.
If I have something good to offer you, I will. Like this: PR Open Mic, a shiny brand new and very promising social network for PR people (students, faculty, and practitioners). I hope you join.
If you have any advice for me, any tips & tricks for dealing with this situation compassionately but with only a healthy amount of empathy, please let me know.
Dr. V 
Hey Mihaela,
So sorry to hear of your grandmother’s injury. I wish I could give you some tips, but I’ll just share my experiences. My Dad went through something similar last year. When I went to live with him, I just tried to make it as much fun as I could. Still, recognizing he wasn’t exactly in the mood for a party … :o) … I tried to remember all his favorite foods & treats (chocolate malts, the guy couldn’t resist them). So, I just filled him with all that I could. He smiled.
I know it isn’t much, but maybe that will help. As for the depression / guilt, whatever it is … I felt it, too. Don’t really have any solution for that. Truth is, I still feel it sometimes. But, isn’t that really kind of natural? To be expected. Then, I remind myself that I tried as hard as I could. It is a little solace. And, I believe you have the right track referring to empathy & not sympathy. That’s the path.
Take care, Mihaela. I’ll keep you and your Grandmother in my thoughts.
Robert
I don’t have any words of wisdom, but just wanted to send a note to let you know I was thinking about you and hope your grandmother is/will feel better soon. Call me if you just want to chat.